Friday, June 17, 2011

An Introduction Is In Order

"Life is what you make it" is an interesting thought, to which I bring this counterpoint:

"Life is what other people think you make it"

It is with this philosophy that I begin writing. I do not write for myself, nor for some skewed sense of fame and glory, or even for ad revenue (ok maybe a little for the money). I write for YOU, for everyone reading this, for everyone that will talk about this, for the people of the world! But more specifically, for those that grew up attached to the internet, were forced out into the real world, and suddenly realized they have no real skills.

And don't even pretend you aren't one of these people, honestly, you're reading a blog...

But fear not, friends! Having no skills is not the end of the world. The only thing that matters in this internet-/smart phone- fueled age of technology, is your image.  In fact, in this modern technological era, values such as discipline, perseverance, talent, and even hygiene have lost their importance, due to the simple fact that they're able to be easily faked. (I didn't even need to know how to spell half of the words in the last sentence, the internet did it for me!)  Yes, that's right, real skills, abilities and socially acceptable personal habits are no longer necessary; all that really matters is your image. To put it simply, you don't need to be able to actually do anything, you just need to be able to look like you know what you're doing.

And don't worry, you don't have to leave behind your best friend, the interwebs.

Now, you might be thinking "Looking like you know how to do something sounds just as hard as actually DOING things!" And trust me, I understand, actually learning how to do something is a lot of hard work and time that could be much better spent reading blogs or playing Angry Birds. But I can assure you that with my help, and a step by step guide, you can spend virtually no effort and still learn how to become successful (or at least look like you did!).

So whether you want to become popular, get a job, or just finally get laid, join me in this guide to building whatever image you might need for whatever task you find yourself facing. And it all starts with...

Step One:

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